|
Lucas Arts aren’t the
only arts.
THE PROPHET REVISITED
So the time has come to leave, and love's flower is
Still in bud.
Weep not for the unopened bud. The transplanted flower,
Withering for a
time in its new bed, soon takes root
And blossoms forth
in all its beauty.
If you cry because he was your support and nourishment,
As the soil to the
flower, you need only look for the
Fertile field at
your destination. For good ground
Is found
everywhere.
But, if he is unto you a source of life's love itself,
And you grow
strong in the luminance of his love, then truly
You need fear not.
For he is like the sun unto you,
And you shall find
his radiant love all around you each morn,
No matter where
you dwell.
But you say that you are as the new seed, and are just beginning to
know him.
Cry not, for the
seedling must be transplanted
So it may prosper
and grow. The soil will change,
But the sun will
be the same.
If he is the one,
he will surely follow.
Look for him in
your heart. For it will be there that you
Will recognize him
first.
How then, you ask, do you distinguish between the sun and the soil,
For they both
nourish you and fill you with love?
Ask rather, if you
must have his love or parish.
If your heart will
truly wither and die in his absence,
Then he is as a
sun unto you.
If you soon find
yourself in bloom again,
Your sun is still
before you.
You ask of time, of age, of spring and of death.
Know that the
plants grow in spring, flower in summer,
Grow old in fall - then die. So too will you.
Do not presume
upon God. For to want to alter the plan is to
Want to BE God.
And you are little, little indeed.
Grow strong in your springtime. Enjoy your summer, and your fall.
Crying for spring
will not return it.
Look forward
instead to the warm nights of summer, love and fertility.
For in liquid
love, tenderness and passion,
You fulfill your
destiny, and guarantee your immortality.
You say he is too old, too young, too ugly, too handsome?
Hybrid rose or
dandelion, is the one more alive then the other?
What you mean is
that you are too proud,
Too important
within yourself. Strive always to be like the dandelion.
Remember, the
hybrid rose is unable to grow on its own,
It is sterile, and
for all its outward beauty, it still bears thorns.
But still you yell within your heart, "too old!", or "too young!"
Look at the
flowers of August. Can you pick out which were
April's seedlings?
June's? All you can know is that they are
In bloom, ... and
October will surely come for all.
Have you understood what I've tried to say? No, that would be
asking
Too much. Maybe
someday you will understand.
So
go ahead and leave with a happy heart. Love is always
With you. So too
is your special "him".
And when you
finally recognize him, cling to him.
Or be a fool.
If he is older than you, look through his age. If he is not
handsome,
Look into his
heart. If he is young, share his youth.
If he is
attractive, smile at your fortune.
But be not overly impressed by youth or outward beauty.
Look within, then
may you be blinded by his light.
Fail to do this
and you will not detect the first faint glimmer.
1974
LOUSY
NIGHTS
I sigh more at night.
It doesn't help.
It hasn’t brought you home.
Nights are the
pits.
1978
SECRETS
How do I stop watching you?
Must I have my
head down Forever?
Keep my eyes on the floor
When in your
presence?
I feel you look at me
And I'm forced to
look up.
Meeting, our eyes instantly soften and
The moment lengthens.
I've said what I want,
And so have you.
Hurry, we must break the contact.
Too much is being
said,
And we must not say those things,
Or even think
them!
Oh why do we bother?
It’s useless, because our souls
Have just had a
long conversation.
1978
DISCOVERY
I can see you sitting out there.
Occasionally our
eyes meet,
And I can see that you still
Haven't recovered
either.
That look on your face startled me.
I shook my head in
disbelief.
My God, you hurt as much as I do!
1978
BUT NOW WE ARE NOT
You burst into the house, your face all aglow.
"We're gonna have one, ... really,... I know!"
I was taken aback, not ready, although ...
I warmed to it quickly, all ready to go.
But school wasn't over, and we weren't really wed.
Your mother said "Hey, are you out of your head?"
"You can't afford beans, much less babies." she said.
So we laid there and talked, we young fools in our bed.
Then we talked and we listened, with no argument hot.
We talked and we talked, and we cried quite a lot.
She's right we agreed, so our dreams we forgot.
We used to be pregnant,... but now we are not.
1978
NEW FACE
My mind keeps conjuring up her face.
Why?
I'm in the midst of the most fulfilling
relationship I have ever known.
And yet...
Her face...
Her face.
1978
SIREN CALL
When I'm with her its like I'm participating
in some ethereal
drama.
I know I don't belong with her.
I feel so inconsequential in her presence,
yet ... her siren call overwhelms,
and I forget
Denny.
1978
BASTARD
I'm a bastard, I guess.
Who have I hurt more?
Denny... is
shell-shocked.
The bastard? Yeah,
I'll probably get hurt too.
... But the siren calls.
1978
TICK TOCK
It's only been twenty-eight hours,
Since I found that you'd gone.
Seems longer than the nineteen months
When I had your every waking hour.
Is your watch ticking slowly too?
This evening
i s
g o i n g
s o o o o
s l
o
w
l
y.
1978
A POEM IN 9/8 METER
Seventy-seven and it was fall,
If there is a fall in Broward.
When Parker and I dropped in on Bill,
But he was talking to Howard.
His little office was almost bare,
His secretary was brand new.
She was Denise, a vision so fair.
Her hair was gold, her eyes were blue.
A goddess I saw, smiling at me.
But a woman of tender years.
Just looking at her I fell in love,
So strong my eyes sparkled with tears.
Lisa was gone, when May rolled around,
D's classes were almost done.
She came to my house, made it a home.
I have never had so much fun.
But I wasn't done, oh no, not me.
I lost her because of a Bitch.
It took two years, near to the day,
for this fool to move in a witch.
1984
NIGHT
DREAMS
I had a dream last night
That you were here
with me.
Lying by my side, your eyes open wide.
You talked for a
while,
Gave me your
smile,
We loved until dawn.
Then I awoke,
And found you were gone.
I had a dream last night
That you were here
with me.
Lying by my side, your eyes full of tears.
Said, "your
too tired to roam,
You want to
come home."
But then I awoke
And found you
still gone.
I dreamed we were lying
Our bodies
entwined,
By dawn I remembered I'd been left behind.
1985
MELANCHOLY
Metaphorically speaking, and in general keeping,
In line with
accepted rhyme,
To create I've been ordered, a sweet song gently watered
With happiness
through and through.
But my heart isn't singing, so this rhyme can't be bringing
My true feelings
out for you.
So I'll write to you neatly, and try ever so sweetly
To sing of my love
for you.
Locks cascading to shoulder, unafraid that I'm older,
My life opened up
with you.
Your dear person I cherish, my love never will perish.
I'll wait for your
soft return.
So I'm singing my praises for your moist loving gazes.
Thank God that you
came along.
I'm amazed He created, and those times when we mated,
God's love lived
on earth for me.
1985
THINKING
Lying here in the dark,
I think of all the things
We never had a chance to do.
Alone, those thoughts are nothing.
And who wants to hear
The solo song of my loneliness?
I'm far better off lying here
And thinking of the things we did
Find the time to do.
1986
NICE GUYS
Your such a nice person.
There you go, giving him one more chance.
You've sung that song so many times before.
Hell, I guess I'm a nice guy too.
I actually stepped back and let you go!
Yeah, a nice guy, ... and a fool.
Have I really helped you?
You'll have to go through last
Friday night all over again,
Someday.
Have I really helped you?
Can two nice guys ever get together?
1986
STUPIDITY
How stupid of me!
To think that our love
Was all that
mattered.
I forgot that you do not own
A pair of rose-colored glasses,
Like I do.
You see it all with unobstructed eyes.
Your previous
commitments
The age difference
My ready made
family
Your family
How stupid of me,
All I could see was you.
1986
NIGHT
PEACE
I often lie awake at night
And think of how
things are.
I think of what I've put aside,
And what I've done
so far.
My memory is full of things
That I have
thought or said.
There's those I've hurt,
And those I've helped,
And those I've had in bed.
But as I ponder all those things,
My heart feels
hurt anew.
'Cause even though I've done it all,
I still can't be
with you!
If I could only win my quest
To make my life
worthwhile,
I'd never cheat, for I'd have won
A love I'd not
defile.
To lie in bed and dream at peace.
To know your
laying near.
I'd hold your hand the whole night long
And whisper in
your ear.
I'd whisper of my love for you.
I'd stroke your
head and say,
"I loved you all day yesterday,
I'll love you more
today."
1987
OF FATE AND PENANCE
Fate frequently seems to have a way of upsetting a man's ambitions.
As far as I know, all I still had going for me was our deep abiding
friendship.
Now I fear even
that is gone.
I only wanted to
help you.
I didn't need your
money.
I didn't even want
your money.
But you entrusted it to me, and I have failed you.
I know that I am blameless and could have done nothing to avoid the
loss.
God knows that when it all crashed down, your loss was my only
concern.
But I was
powerless to stop it.
I cringed in my
terror of your condemnation.
I shouted my
indignation into the night sky.
And in humiliation
watched your respect for me evaporate.
Oh yes, fate can certainly upset a man's ambitions.
So now my goals must change, as goals frequently do.
My hopes and dreams of our eventual reconciliation lying,
Like I found our
old pictures, once upon a time,
In tatters, all
torn, in piles around my floor.
A man without
respect, like a cat with no fur,
Is a sorry sight
indeed, stripped of all dignity.
I refuse to accept this retched situation.
I must win back your respect. I'll return every cent.
I must pay all the interest, and then some, when I can.
Your tone on the
phone still torments my senses,
Your hurt I'll
assuage by returning your funds.
Your disgust I'll
have to slowly overcome.
For only time, my
continued good intentions,
And your absolute knowledge of who I am, will make a difference.
1987
LOVING
YOU
Loving you is the longest continuous
Feeling I have ever had.
I never ever loved anyone this long,
Day in and day out.
Certainly no woman.
Before we met, I never guessed
That just loving you would
Fundamentally change my life.
Now I find profound dignity
In knowing that someone I admire
As much as I do you,
Actually wants to spend
Her life with me.
1988
BYE AGAIN
From the very first day, I warmed under your gaze.
If Crochee could
bottle it, lets too save those days.
But all I have now is writing this ditty
'Cause my love
can't fight your truck load of pity.
You were a noble goal, attainment within reach.
I fought a good
fight, we walked on the beach.
We gave to each other the strength to move on.
We took from each
other not a thing that was wrong.
His call, like a knife to our love, rents.
Overwhelmed by
events that still make no sense.
So your pity is stronger than the peace our love made.
Your needed, my
love, so run to his aid.
Put your own self aside?
Just wait and
abide?
You know what your losing, and you didn't ask why.
Living this lie
can't last 'till you die.
I'm not really alone, we're too much the same.
You've bottled the
memory, though it wasn't your aim.
It hangs round your neck, as surely as mine.
In neon it glows
... Loving you felt so fine.
1988
LISTENING
Your loss has rendered me deaf.
I am wrapped in the solitude of your absconderment,
Unaware of the cacophony that surrounds.
I must wash out the cerumen of my dejection and listen,
Listen ...
To what I have
been missing.
Siblings at war over some great transgression.
Somewhere a Jay scolds a predator.
A half a thousand souls knife through the stratosphere,
Encapsulated in
silver.
The omnipresent din of internal combustion.
Two felines mutter obscene comments to each other,
Crescendoing to
shrieks of disapprobation.
Yes, all is well with Mother Gaia
And finally, ... me.
1990
PASS YOU ON
I don't believe that you're sterile.
I think Gaia needs your genes.
You must be wrong, though your faith is strong,
that your plumbing is permanently clogged.
Your thought might be untrue,
Its not like you KNEW,
So why do you feel it so strong?
I would hope that your fate, like mine is to wait.
Until WE can try it again.
Your first one was mine, and that was an honor.
But you haven't been mine since when.
Now your looking at thirty, your clock still is ticking.
Its time you got serious.
I know that I'm out, that's not what its about.
Your genes are posterity's treasure.
I feel very strong that your conclusion is wrong,
But you may have a medical problem.
If I were real rich, though Steven would bitch,
I'd get you the help that you need.
I mean pay for the doc and the tests that are needed.
You're Steve's and I know it,
But Gaia's need must be heeded,
Your "you" not be lost to us all.
1990
STILL WAITING
I know you're out there living,
Pale phantom of my
youth.
I still feel your glow caress me,
But you're gone, and
that's the truth.
You haven't aged a moment,
My mind's eye sees
you clear.
You haven't aged a moment,
But I have ...
wrinkled, dear.
I know you're out there living
Just eighty miles
away.
I know you're out there living
And I've lost another day.
Another day without you.
More wrinkles
round my eye.
If only I were bolder,
I'd take you from
that guy.
But you are not a memory,
You are alive,
like I.
Your mirror too changes daily,
And you've
wrinkles 'round your eye.
Yet in my mind your nubile,
Forever lithe and
you,
Will never age a moment,
My golden Denny
Blue.
Now this is getting crazy,
Middle age is
setting in.
My love has not grown hazy,
But I wish you had
a twin.
I've lost twelve years by waiting
For your knock
upon my door.
Your twin I'd been a dating,
If god had made
one more.
Yet I don't want to be dating,
Your Twin or
otherwise.
I'd rather keep on waiting,
If Denny were the
prize.
So, your with another lover,
Are you where you
should be?
Are you so great together,
Or should you be
with me?
1991
BALLS
My god, you just turned thirty.
That makes me .... never mind!
Do you realise that I have now loved you
For half of your life?
And a third of mine?
We talked for over an hour yesterday.
An hour a year is a starvation diet, my love.
But I guess complaining won't change anything,
And besides, complaining isn't allowed...
In a penance.
For a while I thought I had even lost your friendship.
Your call last spring was so cold, and coldness from you freezes my
soul.
You used to be such a tolerant person,
Nothing and no one bothered you.
Now, ... they do.
Is part of my penance to see you harden?
If so, my pain is multiplied.
If I had the balls, I'd rent a white horse,
To gallop up there and steal you back.
Would you stay?
If you slapped me down, and ran back,
It would serve me right, but
At least ... I'd have tried.
But I don't have the balls.
Balls!
8/1991
Savannah Continuity
Come plop yourself down in a heap by my feet,
For I've a story to tell you that I think's kind of neat.
I know you can't walk, sitting up is a chore,
But being a baby, you're used to the floor.
My story begins in those far days of yore,
When a sweet golden princess turned a dozen plus four.
Such radiant beauty is ever so rare,
With eyes like the sky and buttercup hair.
A cute little quirk, so endearing to see,
Her eyebrows get red when she's mad as can be.
Though mad was a state she seldom would see,
When she did, she'd cool off with a walk by the sea.
She had lovers and suitors in lines by her door,
'Cause radiant princesses stay mostly in lore.
Every man in the realm would have killed for her favor,
Knights would have fought any, for just to save her.
She soon was engaged to a friendly young man,
Who offered her dreams, but not much of a plan.
He had in his hands the keys to her heart.
He promised, of course, that they'd never part.
Unbeknownst to our beauty, the guy was a cad.
And he understood not, the great honor he had.
For far to the north lived a beautiful witch,
With a heart made of ice, she was really a bitch.
Our useless young dreamer soon becked to her call,
Bewitched and befuddled, he wanted it all.
He wanted his princess, safe home in his bed,
And he wanted the witch with the soul that was dead.
The princess was hurt so she went to her mother,
And while she was gone he moved in with the other.
Now a man can't do that to a pure loving wife,
So with a toss of her head, she rode out of his life.
Please don't get me wrong, this is no tale of sorrow.
It's a song about strength and a better tomorrow.
Oh the cad got his due, pain sorrow and jail.
When you injure an angel, your life HAS to fail.
But this story's about loving, bright mornings and so,
Let's continue the tale, so you'll hear and you'll know.
With eyebrows aflame, her cart she did pack.
Her life she pursued and she never looked back.
Her beauty was there, unassailably true,
So in a few years she found someone new.
He was dashing and smart, and he took her away,
And her life was successful, she whistled all day.
The years they did pass, one-two, three and four.
They loved and they lived, but they both wanted more.
They wanted a baby, they wanted one bad,
And they tried and they tried, with no luck to be had.
Then a miracle happened in the fall of the year.
With full moon arising, and Thanksgiving near,
Too precious to lose, her rare golden genes,
Gaia, our mother, resorted to means.
Means that were magic, and a gold falling star.
The love of her husband that no one could bar.
Star magic succeeded, where barren before,
And in time she delivered, her image restored.
With eyes like the sky, and buttercup hair,
Her high holy image was reborn again there.
Nature, you see, abhors such a stumble,
As losing rare genes without even a grumble.
And now for the best part, now listen and hear.
The princess of gold is your mother, my dear.
See why your special, God's gift to us all?
What you carry is special, so be proud and grow tall.
And me, who am I? Ask your eyes like the sky.
I'm no one to you, mom's friend ... just a guy,
Our numbers are legion, we who love from afar.
We've stood back and watched, her life not to mar.
You too are star stuff, from mommy you came.
So grow strong and prolific in God's holy game.
One day you'll awake to be a dozen plus four,
then pass those genes forward, don't leave our earth poor.
5/1992
Life continues and the call re-echoes bludau
herein the chronicles for her alone.
|